Sharing an Umbrella
by Kaboot
Summary: [AU, Humanoid Fic] Verne finds himself having to walk to work in a rain storm, and a he can hardly keep his umbrella from flying away. [slash]


**Sharing an Umbrella**

Summary: AU, Humanoid Fic Verne finds himself having to walk to work in a rain storm, and a he can hardly keep his umbrella from flying away. slash

Disclaimer: I don't own _Over the Hedge_. I also don't own Subaru or _Mary Poppins_, both of which are referenced to here.

Warnings: Slash. Mild, but quite obvious.

* * *

RJ leaned out the window, dusty brown hair quickly flattening itself to his forehead in the rain. He watched as a man dressed for work walked passed, a black briefcase in one hand, closed black umbrella in the other. Awkwardly, he pushed the latter open, trying not to drop either object. With a 'fwoosh' the umbrella spread open like a dark blossom, only to be tugged backwards by the wind. The man flicked his wrists forward to bring the covering back over his head, but it pulled away again. The scene was almost comical from RJ's point of view, as the umbrella appeared to have a mind of its own. Another gust of wind, and the umbrella was not only pulled back, but the edges began to turn inside out.

RJ smiled, shaking his head, and climbed out of the low window. Even in his coat and boots he was cold, but it didn't bother him much as he sloshed through his now-swamp-like yard and into the nearly-flooded street.

The man didn't look up as RJ approached. Not one to complain about having the element of surprise, RJ darted over and gripped the umbrella's handle in both hands.

"Need some help?"

The man looked up with a start, then slowly a small and awkward smile settled onto his face. "Oh... Oh, good morning RJ."

"You call this a good morning?" RJ laughed as he struggled to keep the umbrella in place. "Jeez, Verne, what's your idea of a _bad_ morning?" Verne rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, well... Thanks for the help," he said. "The Subaru wouldn't start up, so I'm stuck walking."

"I hate that thing," RJ muttered. "See, this is a sign - You need a better car! A _real_ car!"

"It is a real car," Verne argued.

"Sure it is." Another gust of wind, this one turning the umbrella completely inside out. "_Aggh_!" RJ furiously attempted to fix it, while Verne used his briefcase for temporary shelter. Finally, RJ managed to return the umbrella to normal. "Tell me again why you couldn't get a ride from somebody?" He hissed in frustration.

"I didn't want to bother anyone." Now it was RJ's turn to roll his eyes. "Anyway, it's not too long a walk to the accounting firm."

"Wait, wait! You're walking in the pouring rain so you can go to... Work?"

"Yes," Verne stated. "Yes, RJ, I am. Because _some_ of us have a handle on our priorities."

"Says you," RJ snorted. "What do you mean by that, anyway?"

Verne answered with a question of his own. "Shouldn't _you_ be at work, too?" He asked accusingly.

"See, that depends on who you ask. My boss might say yes, but I know when I need a well-deserved day off."

"In other words, you're playing hooky."

"Yeah! I mean, come on Verne! Didn't you ever play hooky back when you were in school?"

"No."

"Figures. _Aggh_! Again with this stupid umbr- You think it's funny?" He asked, staring incredulously at Verne.

"Yes..." Verne admitted. "You're getting mad at an umbrella."

"It's provoking me!" RJ insisted.

"It's an umbrella!" Verne laughed. A long pause followed as RJ fixed the umbrella for a second time.

"...What's your point?" He asked with a grin. Verne just smiled in reply, and RJ's eyes wandered up to the umbrella. "Hey, Verne...?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you think would happen if we just... Let go?" RJ asked, voice oddly wistful.

"You're... Joking," Verne tightened his grip on the umbrella in case RJ tried such a thing. "...Right? It would blow away. What else do you think _could_ happen?"

"Oh, I know that..." RJ pushed his hair back off his forehead. "But I mean, then what? Would we be able to catch it?" Verne gave RJ a look that made it clear he thought his friend was insane.

"I... Don't know, but I know we'd get very wet."

"Let's see."

"What?!"

"Come on... Don't tell me you're _so_ riskophobic that you won't even do something as insignificant as let go of an umbrella!" RJ groaned. Verne paused for a long moment before speaking.

"Riskophobic..." He repeated. "You just made that up, didn't you?"

"Yes," RJ stated with a calm impatience that Verne truly believe only RJ could manage. "Yes I did, but that's not the point!"

"You really want to just let go of the umbrella?" Verne asked, seeking one final time to understand.

"Yes. _Why **not**,_ Verne?"

There was a long, thoughtful pause before Verne sighed, sounding tired. "Fine." RJ beamed.

"Okay!" He exclaimed, and quickly let go. Verne hadn't expected him to let go so quickly, so the umbrella continued to wriggle around in his grasp before he, somewhat reluctantly, released it. It flew off, carried by the wind: across the street, then down in the direction from which they came, then diagonally in the direction they were headed. The two men chased after it as it took its sporadic course, RJ laughing and Verne shaking his head, the only thought on his mind being why he'd agreed to this ridiculous idea in the first place. As they ran across the yard of a house whose owner neither of them knew, Verne tripped. RJ stopped to help him up, and by the time they'd both collected themselves the umbrella was out of sight. Verne looked around, wide-eyed, and realized that the pursuit had brought them farther from his work than they had been when they started.

"Great!" Verne snapped. "Okay, so now I'm going to be late _and _I'm soaking wet, an-and it's_freezing_ out he-"

"Stop complaining." The firm command was coupled with a hug from the side, which was what had caused Verne to go quiet. RJ rested his forehead on his friend's shoulder.

"That was a _really_ nice umbrella," Verne said finally. "I liked that umbrella."

"I'll get you a new one, Nanny Poppins."

"What?" Verne asked, confused and missing the joke.

"Never mind," RJ chuckled, forehead still against Verne's shoulder. "Just... I'll get you a new umbrella."

"I'm still cold," Verne sighed.

"And you're still complaining," RJ pointed out, looking up. He moved even closed to Verne, tightening his grip. "Any warmer?"

"Thanks... Thanks, RJ."

"No big deal..." RJ whispered. Then, leaning in, he gave Verne a casual kiss on the cheek. Verne blushed, but also felt an undeniable shot of warmth spread through his body, though only for the briefest of moments. "No big deal at all..." RJ said gently.

"O-okay..." Verne murmured. Suddenly feeling very unsure, he glanced down, and noticed that his clothes were not only horribly wet, but also stained from mud and grass. Still in RJ's arms, he turned to face his friend. "I'm... Really not in any shape to go to work, am I?"

RJ laughed. "Not at all."

"RJ?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks," Verne said simply.

"For wha-" RJ began, but was cut off when Verne's lips found their way onto his. "Oh," he whispered once they parted, "that. You're _extremely _welcome, in that case."

"Well... Come on," Verne said. RJ stepped back, breaking the hug he'd had Verne in.

"Huh?"

"I'm too late, wet, and in general a mess to go to work now," Verne explained, "so I figure I'll give that 'playing hooky' thing a try." RJ grinned, and Verne went on as the two began walking. "Now... Who is this 'Nanny Poppins'?" RJ stopped and just stared at Verne for a moment, quasi-disapproving.

"Honestly, Verne..." He finally sighed. "Did you spend your childhood under a rock?"

* * *

I hope you had as much fun reading that as I had writing it. Also, about Verne's carreer... He got to be an accountant because he reminds me a bit of Leo Bloom from _The Producers._


End file.
